Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Thailand monsters

When we first met our son in Thailand he was wearing 3 "bracelets" around his wrist. Two were regular looking bracelets and the other was a piece of string. We asked Miss Oh if there was any significance to each bracelet. The string was usually put on at a wat by a monk for good health, especially if one had been sick. She also let us know you NEVER cut it off. Very good to know!

Flash forward a few months when Jet starts talking about his experiences in Thailand and he says a monk put it on to keep the Thailand monsters away. I am fairly certain he still believes monsters are real. He is still trying to figure out why there aren't any in America or if he should believe us or not!!

Around 2 months or so ago, Jet asked me if he could cut it off. I indicated it was fine for him to cut it off or he could leave it on. Secretly, I have been wanting to cut that string off ages ago! It is dirty, ratty and a germ haven, I am sure. But I would never do that to him. It needed to be his decision or it needed to break on its own. He said he wanted to cut it off.

But he didn't. And I didn't say a thing.

We didn't discuss it again until today. He was Tigger bouncing around the living room and out of the blue indicated his "bracelet" and said, I want to cut it off. Same answer from me.

Straight for the scissors he went. Thankfully I snapped this first.

I am taking it as a sign of his letting go, moving on, feeling safer in our family. I can't help but correlate it to our conversation yesterday when Jet expressed to me he thought I loved Peanut and Bug more than him. Where another heart to heart, family bonding, crying time was had by Jet and I. Ya know, a YOU ARE MY SON FOREVER kinda thing. WE CHOSE YOU, WE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR YOU, WE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY kinda thing. I hope it is a sign of an increased comfort level for him.

It was probably just a Tigger bouncy off the wall kinda thing! Oh well!! I can have my moment, right?!!



Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I have a bit on my blog about the string, we were married in traditional thai ceremony and lots and lots of String!!! Partly from Monk, and part from Village Elders - the Elders used it as a bit like a wishing string where they gave us wishes with it.
go to January 2008 in my archives on the right hand side. Gem x

Angie said...

Amarin still has his, and like you, I'd never take it off. Did you keep it as a keepsake for him? Congrats on another baby step...they mean so much!!

Kelly said...

Not even the same thing really, but our 3rd daughter who is "different" is starting to ask a lot of questions about the brain surgery. I'm going to have to sit down and lay it all out for her - even though its something we speak about often. I imagine he feels a bit different than the other two still, and it will take a long time too overcome. I'm sure these are stories both of us will have to relay constantly through our kids' lives. I'm glad he feels safe enough to express himself.

aamayna said...

That is a big step! Those little signs of increased comfort mean the world.

Thanks for your comment! Great perspective...this stuff can be so tricky!

Jay and Chandra and Penny Regan said...

When I first visited the part of Thailand where my daughter is from I was there at a Christian church. They took the Thai custom of string tying and changed the meaning to represent how those in the church are joined as one in Christ. It was a very meaningful ceremony. However, in typical Thai homes it is more to ward off evil. I think this is definitely a sign that he is feeling safer. Out daughter is feeling much safer, too. We praise God that she knows Him in her heart and knows now that He will always protect her from evil.

rosemary said...

This made me cry a little. So sweet to hear of him finding some closure on his past and talking with you about your love for him. Best wishes always for your family!!

Maci Miller said...

So great that he has such a comfort level with you. How wonderful that you as his mother respected his culture and need to hold onto it for a little longer. We did a little Thai ceremony for Ruby in her home town in Thailand and we all got a string bracelet. Ours was for our "welcome home" blessing but really it is given often by monks for good luck and blessings for different occasions. We felt like it symbolized us all being "tied" together by God and as a family. Anyway, ours all fell off within a short time and I saved them in a little box. Ruby has received them from time to time when we do cultural things at a nearby temple and they don't last long either. That monk must have put your sons on pretty tight!

Annie said...

What a great way of saying he decided that he moved into another level of peace and safety with your family. You always inspire me with your blog and your honest posts about each step of the attachment process. :)