Jet's best friend--stuck

I have needed to write this update for awhile. I have not been able to for many reasons. Number one is the hurt it brings to my heart. Very few times in my life, thanks be to God, I have experienced a pain so deep as this one.

In a previous post, here, I asked for prayers for a family waiting for a beautiful boy who is my son's best friend. Jet's best friend was told at the same time as Jet that he had a family waiting for him in America.

That was March 2008. We brought Jet home May 2009.

It seemed there was an issue with his child history. A signature had not been gotten at the time it was needed. Now the person can't be found. This one signature seems to make the difference between adoptable or not. An orphan or not an orphan.

Papa and I are simply not able to wrap our minds around the idea that a child who has had no family since birth visit with him, spend time with him, care for him would not be considered an orphan.

The definition of orphan seems pretty clear to me.
As a noun A child who has been deprived of parental care and has not been adopted.
As an adj Deprived of parents

He has been in the care of an orphanage, taken care of by caretakers, not parents. This child has 2 people in America, parents, who wish to care for him, give him a life filled with love and attention and love him already.

Eight years abandoned in an orphanage should be MORE than enough time for a child to be considered an orphan. Something should be able to be done to note this to the authorities in charge.

Jet still talks of his best friend coming to America. He must be unsure/confused about the fact that his best friend already had a family here in America. I say this because about one week after Shawna and Mark found out the news, Jet came to me with an idea that broke my heart. He did not know anything about what was going on with his friend. He had just heard my very good friend from IL, "L" was starting the process of adopting a young boy from Thailand. We truly weren't even sure if Jet understood what we said when we told the kids. But he told me "L" should adopt ___ because then Peanut and Bug could meet him and he could help him learn English.

How do I answer that? And his limited understanding has him believing it will happen.

To make things harder to bear are the stories Jet shares about his life at the orphanage. In some ways he was very fortunate. He came home with more experiences than we never imagined a child from an orphanage would have. He went to movies, fun parks, the beach, had tried all sorts of food, rode on a motorcycle, regularly went to 7-11 and more. Yet there are also stories that caused Jet and his friend to want to go to America, where those things wouldn't happen. His words, not mine.

We still haven't told Jet. I simply do not know how to do it. Or how to try and help him understand it. Since I have so little of an understanding myself. Part of me hopes it is all a mistake. A terrible mistake, that will be used to glorify God in the end.

I have images of Jet's best friend burned in my brain. When we went back to the orphanage to visit, I focused very intently on his friend. One because I wanted to share with Shawna all I could about her son waiting for her in Thailand. Two because he was such a big part of my son's life and I wanted to KNOW this child. Knowing this child is ripping at my heart.

Shawna and Mark made the heart wrenching decision to stop pursuing a Thailand adoption and have just this weekend been blessed with an 8 year old girl through a domestic adoption!! This little girl now has a wonderful home and family! Praise God!

This has rocked my world, bringing me crashing to my knees and I am struggling to get back up. It has inspired many discussions between Papa and I. In depth, life changing discussions. We are a simple family in midwest America trying to survive the economic recession. Where we feel God leading us is way outside the realm. Please keep us in your prayers.

For now my faith gives me one thing to hold one to--this boy is in our life for one reason. For now it is to pray for him. And that we do.

A boy and his best friend.

Jet's Best Friend needs prayers

In April 2008 we received a new video of Jet from when our agency had traveled there in March. We, naturally, could hardly wait to watch it. Imagine our surprise when it started and we were able to see our son playing with another little boy! We had full view of the boy our son was playing ball with. (Unheard of in the pc, privacy controlled US)

It was such a treat to see him interacting with another child and the giggling laughter from these two was pure joy!!

Then we found out it was his best friend who was also coming to America!!

At that time, we were told the boys were kept together at the babies home rather than having to move to the boys home. One less move for them since they had families that would be coming to get them! We were thrilled. We also learned the boys had been told they had families in America. It was explained to us this was not the norm, individuals within the orphanage were very excited for the boys and told them. Ordinarily, it seems the children are given much less "notice".

Jet knew for 14 months he had a family in America. His best friend is still waiting.....20 months after he heard the great news.

Yes, I said 20 months.

And his family in America has been in process to bring him home for well over 2 years now.

Mark and Shawna recently received some news that rocked their world and is leaving this adoption completely up in the air. There is a possibility their son is not considered "adoptable". They along with their 2 beautiful daughters, age 9 and 11, and 3 grown children, are grappling with this news. Trying desperately to understand the reasons behind all this wait and uncertainty.

God's hand has been on this adoption all along. They first spotted this young boy in Thailand 3 years ago. Yet they felt led down a different path towards their next child. After the door closed on that path, a new photo album was delivered and that young boy was still waiting....It was a full year later. Another door had been opened. They knew he was the one.

We have met this little boy. He turned 8 this past summer. He is a delightful, smiley, energetic, finger-snapping little boy! He loves to ride bikes and his favorite color is pink. Those are 2 tidbits I learned from Jet.

He is my son's best friend. Jet is well aware he has a family here in America. In fact today, out of the blue, Jet said, "I can't wait till my friend comes to America". I didn't need to ask who he was talking about but I asked anyway. I was right. My heart ached at that moment.

I call him their son, as he will always be their son. No matter what.

Please, please pray for Mark and Shawna, Marina and Alexis, for peace and strength in this wait. Pray for those in Thailand acting on behalf of this little boy, that God may slip the necessary documents/evidence in place. Pray for this little boy, for an understanding in his heart. That he may know HIS FAMILY WANTS HIM VERY MUCH.

Thank you for taking this family into your hearts, thoughts and prayers. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. I wish they lived close by, so I could hug Shawna on a daily basis. I know I would need it by now. Actually, I would have needed it a long time ago. Also I did have permission to use their names in my blog.

May God bless you all~

Munchkin #3

He would be with us at this time. If there had been no increased violence in the protests. If the DSDW social worker would have still met with us. If we had gone anyway.

Many ifs. Trying hard not to think about those. Focusing on the here and now. And the fact our son will be home.

I stumbled across this yesterday....God knew I needed this. I adore Blessed Mother Teresa, always have. I have heard versions of this before but never from the mouth of someone like her.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Please pray we hear today that we are able to travel to the next meeting scheduled for May6th. I can't imagine waiting all weekend before we might hear something.

Guilt and Waiting

I must admit I have been wanting to post quite a few different things for the last week or so but besides being busy getting ready to travel :)) I have also been dealing with much guilt since there are SO many families that are waiting. Some longer than us, in different stages, for different reasons, but I still find it difficult to share my news/excitement. So I have just not been posting or emailing.

But I enjoy posting and emailing. I want to share this process with many people.

The waiting is hard. No, I mean really hard. HARD.

I do get the "worth it in the end" statements. I realize it is often said because who knows what else to say. "Hang in there", "it will happen", "you're so close"......all very kind sentiments, meant in the nicest way from very nice people. But I don't offer them any more when I commiserate with a fellow adoptive parent. It is awkward at the end of an email, so I know WHY people use those "lines". I just chose not to as I know what it feels like to be on the other side. I am not bothered by people who do, I truly know they mean well. I want it to be different from me, an acknowledgment that I understand, I understand.

I am not one of those parents who forgets the wait. Granted the wait for my daughter* 8 years ago isn't what it was at that time, but I don't feel it "went away". It is part of her story. It is part of my labor. It is a part of what I had to go through for the privilege of being her mother.

So I will tell all my fellow waiters.....I DO understand. I will do one thing for you without fail, I will PRAY for you, your family and your child who is waiting JUST FOR YOU. I will wait with you, cry with you, be angry with you and rejoice with you.

Just tell me where you are in the process and I'll meet you there.


*The same goes for my sons!

One thing left to do

This sums it up.....

"I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go."
Abraham Lincoln

Wednesday

Next week, Wed. is the soonest we will have any contact/update from our agency. The tough thing is that will mean we won't be able to get any response back until Thursday Thailand time due to the time difference.

So really, in English, we will be lucky to get one question answered this next week. The most we seem to be getting each week is 1.

Our agency does consider there benefits of our being physically in Thailand to deal with these "issues" however they say we need to be prepared to "possibly" be in country for 2 months!!

Where is the *shock* emoticon when you need it!! ;))

This is truly starting to wear on my soul.....

Please pray for a miracle in the paperwork process.

M

Travel?

There seems to be a strong possibility that we will need to go to Thailand to solve the problems we are experiencing to bring our son home. We would be traveling with an unknown time for returning to the states.

We need HUGE prayers for this situation as this would obviously increase our costs. Plus many other considerations: Would we take the kids with us? How would we leave them with family and not know how long we could be gone? That would add 2 more plane tickets--YIKES. Papa would need to be home to go back to work. How would I fare in a city on my own with 3 kids where I don't speak the language? I suppose munchkin #3 could do the talking! ;)) I MUST keep my sense of humor or I will completely lose it. I am shaking inside at the thoughts of all these things.

If only we were independently wealthy--I would take the whole family, go do what we needed to do, go down the beach in Thailand and stay there until the Embassy has it all worked out! I hear a beach vacation is a great way for the new family to bond together in the child's country and very inexpensive--like $30 a night at a resort right on the beach! We could count it as a field trip for school and all is good!!!!!!!

Well, a girl can dream, can't she?!

Please pray~

M

Prayers

Please pray for this family. They found out their sweet daughter had cancer on January 25th and she passed away today. I simply can't imagine the agony.

Thank you for praying for them.

M

Paperwork issues--UGH

Ok, there are MORE paperworks problems. I am truly not sure how many more of these I can take. Please pray this is VERY temporary and that our agency mails our I800 out today via overnight mail.

At this point I need to accept the fact that traveling for the Jan. 14th meeting is very slim and that fact is really not settling well with me.

I really wanted to be in Thailand and have our son with us for his birthday, to celebrate with his parents as a very special boy on his own with his parents. It would be the first time his actual birthday would be celebrated on his birthday and not with a bunch of other kids having a birthday in the same month.

In re-reading this post, this thought came to me, I really wanted to be in Thailand a long time ago.

Enough whining

At least for now~

Please pray for the paperwork to move quickly and for me to enjoy the Advent and Christmas season with my family here.

M

P.S. Thank you!! The thermometer continues to move!

Grants and Fundraising

What I like to call the nitty gritty part~

We have sold all but 2 of our first 20 Papa Murphy's Pizza Coupons which netted us $170. Thank you!!

We send out 2 grant letters/apps this week and have tentatively heard back that one is not able to help us. Please pray that we are able to hear something positive from the other one.

We need $7000 in 3 weeks. The irony of there being 3 weeks left of advent (a little less) is not lost on us and I can't think of a more fitting way to spend our advent with our focus on God's provisions for us and an orphan child.

Thank you for praying for us!
M

UPDATES

I am really hoping to be able to update our prayer requests today! We *should* be able to get our first USCIS approval today! And I hope to hear something about our paperwork from Thailand.

On a fun note, we found a VERY reasonable hotel really close to the US Embassy so we can walk rather than have to take taxis or tuk tuks. Walking will help with costs as well as stress to avoid traffic!

On a FABULOUS note, we received our first donation! How exciting!! We are so grateful to those willing to partner with us through prayers and financial help to bring this little guy home to his forever family! Thank you!!

I hope to be back later with more!

God bless you all~

M

Faith

I am finding it a struggle this evening to stay strong in my conviction that God wants this adoption to happen.

We stepped out in our faith in God that we would be able to meet the financial needs to travel and bring our son home.

A few unforeseen events this past year coupled with the no-interest loan we had lined up no longer being available, has left us scrambling for fundraiser ideas. A wonderful one came across my path from a good friend and I instantly followed it up.

I just received an email that it is no longer available in our area.

Please pray that a door is opened soon that will relieve our stress during this time of planning that should be a joyous one.

Prayers for adoptive family

Please keep a family in your prayers that is currently in Thailand trying to bring their child home. They are having some troubles and REALLY need to have something good happen for the sake of the child and their family.

We know God can move mountains and we really need Him to do that now.

Thank you for sending out your prayers for this situation.

M

11:07am

That is what time it is in Thailand on Wednesday October 8th. The Thai board that works very hard finding families for their children is meeting at this time. A social worker is presenting some information on us to hopefully be given final approval and a travel date. I am not sure if I will even be able to sleep tonight!

Please pray that we receive the final approval and travel date!

Now if we could only get our government to get their job done quicker......but that is a whole other post!

M