Kids say it best!

Our kids have been praying right along with us for the financial part to allow us to bring munchkin #3 home. He has been a "part" of our family for over a year now. There truly isn't a one of us that can't wait for him to be here.

We have been blessed the last two days with unexpected donations. THANK YOU!

This morning through my tears, I was telling Peanut and Bug about the latest 2. They are always curious about from whom and how much. While they have a concept of money, it is vague. They do understand we need a large sum of money.

Both kids take any money they receive or find and put it in our change jar we started for Munchkin #3. A favorite Christmas movie of ours is a story of a farm family with not much money one Christmas. Dad sells the horse to get presents, the kids, of course, loved the horse more than the gifts. This prompted us to discuss our Christmas and how would we feel about sacrificing our gifts for a brother. Bug emphatically responded without hesitation, YES--I want him home to play. Peanut took a little longer and wasn't quite as emphatic, however if it had been for a sister........ :))))

So back to this morning--
Peanut responded with a "My (Munchkin #3) is coming home! I can't wait till he is in my arms."

Bug gasped, said "oh wow, that is so nice of them" and did a jig!

Then we all thanked God. We thank God for providing for us and for all those that are helping to bring him home. You will be in our prayers forever, your names printed in our prayer notebook and forever in our hearts.

We look forward to one day "paying it forward".

We are all doing a jig on this glorious God-given day. May your day be as blessed as ours!
M

Thank God for my infertility?

I have this weighing on my mind since I came across a post on a favorite blog of mine. Angie at Bring the Rain wrote a post in regards to thanking God for EVERYTHING not just the good stuff. (The actual post I am referring to was taken down by Angie, so you have to take my word for it!)

Angie is a wonderful Godly woman who is an excellent writer that has opened up her soul during a most tragic time to share with many who have suffered similarly. She and her hubby had a daughter die shortly after her birth. Angie has helped me grow in my relationship with Jesus as well as work through some of my feelings on my infertility. She really "won" me over when she included women who experience infertility in her National Remembrance Day Nov. 15th.

At the end of the post she gave a challenge. And that challenge has been dogging me for days now. She challenged us to write on a piece of paper something that we were thankful for.

But there was a catch, it had to be something we don't feel thankful for.

Yikes

I have been tossing this around in my mind since then. Here is where I am so far....

I CAN say thank you for my infertility for ONE reason.....I wouldn't be Mama to Peanut and Bug with Munchkin #3 coming from Thailand.

But then there are all the other reasons I struggle with being infertile~

know what it feels like to carry a child inside my body, created in the most beautiful way by God's incredible design for husband and wife

being able to offer the life sustaining nourishment my child needs from my own body as God created it

have a big family, bringing up those souls to love Jesus as much as I do, offering them to Him

be more financially comfortable, due to the cost differences between our fantastic health ins and the expenses involved in adoption

feel like I am not good enough, for God, for my husband

feel like we are not Catholic "enough", that God doesn't trust us enough to raise our children to honor Him

Maybe I am reading too much into writing that sentence of thanksgiving. I believe part of the idea was to be obedient in thanking God and letting Him work on our hearts to truly feel thankful.

I wish I could be more thankful for it all.

I hope nobody thinks I don't love my children. They ARE my children.

I do thank God for allowing me to be a Mother.

I do ache in the knowledge that I will leave this life here on earth never carrying a child in my womb.

Being able to connect those 2 halves is what I strive for, being able to thank God for each aspect of my infertility.

And when I am most down in my acceptance/understanding of this cross I carry, I turn to this verse--

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

M