Thursday, October 1, 2009

Home 5 months

I can't even believe we have been home that long!

There are times Jet feels like he has been a part of our family forever. Then there are moments when it all feels brand new.

Jet's language skills continue to improve. He works so hard at pronouncing words. It is fascinating to me, having done infant and older child adoptions from different Asian countries,
the sounds present in our English language that the Asian mouth has difficulty making. My infant adoptions were at 4.5 and 5 months. It seems to me it would be in the development of their mouths in the womb, hereditary, which makes it difficult to produce those sounds. Jet watches my mouth so carefully, diligently trying over and over again to produce a sound like mine. His grasp of the English language is awe-inspiring, even grasping emotions, being able to relate it to Thailand and how he experienced the same emotion there.

I have noticed the last week or two, however, Jet relies on his brother and sister to give answers. He jumps in on the last few words making it seem as if he had the same answer! In a way it has given a false sense of his understanding. I am working to ensure his true understanding by questioning him directly, alternating between them all.

Jet eats well, has gained 3 or 4 lbs (much needed) and still sleeps well. One thing I have noticed is there is only 2 times in the past 5 months where Jet has told me he is hungry. I am not sure it is a feeling he is use to, or having someone willing/able to do anything about it.

We continue to work on knowing when we have to use the bathroom. Shortly after IL, he was talking about his stomach hurting and I suggested he go in and sit. He did and afterward relayed the whole story back to me--my stomach hurt, Mama said go sit on potty, I did and my stomach doesn't hurt anymore! Huge smiles and excitement!! I was able to explain when he had that feeling he needed to go. In the last week or so he has known 2x on his own it was time to go!! Progress!

I think this last month or so has been hardest on myself. I feel like parenting is a whole new ball game and I am not playing the game very well. Peanut and Bug were incredibly close siblings, very rarely arguing. In retrospect, I truly had no idea what sibling rivalry was. The "I want to do it, it's my turn, he is always first, etc....", along with the tattletale-ing has been new for me to adjust to and for us to figure out how to parent.

I have also had a difficult time feeling comfortable explaining myself to anyone. We wanted to have kids, a "big" family. We struggle to have these children and to be parents, how dare we feel anything other than excitement, happiness in our new situation. It feels contradictory to the waiting phase where all we could think about was getting our child home. It is a blessing, we are thrilled yet like any parent growing their family, we have struggles.

We ARE so blessed to be a family of five!


Kam said...

I love your honesty! And your sweet heart! I'm sure you're doing a great job, mama! I love the bathroom stories...Joel has had "trouble" in this area already and has bought himself some "glycerin help" twice! Too much information? Sorry! Love ya~

Mama Misty said...

Meg! Don't give up hope. It will all fall into place. And if anyone expects that adoption will come without pitfalls and struggles here and there after placement even, they are incorrect! Everyone has different things to adjust to and your kids aren't any different :) Keep praying and trusting in God that his plan is going to be for the best family you can have!! God Bless friend!

Kelly said...

As the mom of 4, and hopefully more someday, I have to say that it is always a blessing and a struggle. There is always some issue, and now that you have another child be prepared for that rivalry. It changes too, there are ties one of our girls is a PILL, and then in two weeks its someone else's turn. Right now we are all liking each other, but the 5th grader is using too much sarcasm for my taste. As they hit those phases they can really wear you down. I'm glad his language is coming along. Hope all is well with the job.

Ellie said...

It's so good to hear of all the progress Jet has made! I can relate to your honesty in your situation... We thought we were pretty wonderful parents when we just had Laurel and Jack. Other people whose children threw tantrums, argued, tattled, etc... THOSE people needed to work harder and be more consistent :) Well, let me just say that WE have learned so much about parenting since bringing Jacob home. He questions us at every turn. Thinks he knows more than anybody in the house (even tried to correct us on our English after being home only a few months!) :) We've certainly had our moments with "What did we get into?!" However, those moments have dwindled as time passes, and I honestly cannot even remember the last time I felt like that. He still presents periodic challenges, but we figure his personality and strong will have served him well in his life so far. Hoping that his with some shaping, his will will help him accomplish much for the glory of God!

Keep it up, Mama! Be strong! You have a beautiful family! Feel free to email me anytime. I feel like we're getting to "know" so many families through our Thailand Adopt blogs. I wish we could all get together for a big meet and greet in person! :)