Sunday, February 28, 2010

Jet's best friend--stuck

I have needed to write this update for awhile. I have not been able to for many reasons. Number one is the hurt it brings to my heart. Very few times in my life, thanks be to God, I have experienced a pain so deep as this one.

In a previous post, here, I asked for prayers for a family waiting for a beautiful boy who is my son's best friend. Jet's best friend was told at the same time as Jet that he had a family waiting for him in America.

That was March 2008. We brought Jet home May 2009.

It seemed there was an issue with his child history. A signature had not been gotten at the time it was needed. Now the person can't be found. This one signature seems to make the difference between adoptable or not. An orphan or not an orphan.

Papa and I are simply not able to wrap our minds around the idea that a child who has had no family since birth visit with him, spend time with him, care for him would not be considered an orphan.

The definition of orphan seems pretty clear to me.
As a noun A child who has been deprived of parental care and has not been adopted.
As an adj Deprived of parents

He has been in the care of an orphanage, taken care of by caretakers, not parents. This child has 2 people in America, parents, who wish to care for him, give him a life filled with love and attention and love him already.

Eight years abandoned in an orphanage should be MORE than enough time for a child to be considered an orphan. Something should be able to be done to note this to the authorities in charge.

Jet still talks of his best friend coming to America. He must be unsure/confused about the fact that his best friend already had a family here in America. I say this because about one week after Shawna and Mark found out the news, Jet came to me with an idea that broke my heart. He did not know anything about what was going on with his friend. He had just heard my very good friend from IL, "L" was starting the process of adopting a young boy from Thailand. We truly weren't even sure if Jet understood what we said when we told the kids. But he told me "L" should adopt ___ because then Peanut and Bug could meet him and he could help him learn English.

How do I answer that? And his limited understanding has him believing it will happen.

To make things harder to bear are the stories Jet shares about his life at the orphanage. In some ways he was very fortunate. He came home with more experiences than we never imagined a child from an orphanage would have. He went to movies, fun parks, the beach, had tried all sorts of food, rode on a motorcycle, regularly went to 7-11 and more. Yet there are also stories that caused Jet and his friend to want to go to America, where those things wouldn't happen. His words, not mine.

We still haven't told Jet. I simply do not know how to do it. Or how to try and help him understand it. Since I have so little of an understanding myself. Part of me hopes it is all a mistake. A terrible mistake, that will be used to glorify God in the end.

I have images of Jet's best friend burned in my brain. When we went back to the orphanage to visit, I focused very intently on his friend. One because I wanted to share with Shawna all I could about her son waiting for her in Thailand. Two because he was such a big part of my son's life and I wanted to KNOW this child. Knowing this child is ripping at my heart.

Shawna and Mark made the heart wrenching decision to stop pursuing a Thailand adoption and have just this weekend been blessed with an 8 year old girl through a domestic adoption!! This little girl now has a wonderful home and family! Praise God!

This has rocked my world, bringing me crashing to my knees and I am struggling to get back up. It has inspired many discussions between Papa and I. In depth, life changing discussions. We are a simple family in midwest America trying to survive the economic recession. Where we feel God leading us is way outside the realm. Please keep us in your prayers.

For now my faith gives me one thing to hold one to--this boy is in our life for one reason. For now it is to pray for him. And that we do.

A boy and his best friend.


Angie said...

That is nothing short of heartbreaking. You have no idea how close we were to this happening with our son. It was a signature...from someone who was no longer able to sign. Thank God it worked out and he's home. My heart aches for these children who are indeed orphans, but will never have the love of a mom and dad.

Kelly said...

Devastating. This economy is hurting so many people who would do more. I will add this boy to the two I already pray for - in Thailand and the Phillipines. On a happier note, Brian starts work on Tuesday - a BIG pay cut, but in this economy that is still a blessing. I continue to pray that we find a way to another child too.

Anonymous said...

i wonder how hard the authorities look, do you think htey hire Private Investigators to track down the person for the signature, or I wonder if prospective parents could do that. I know on the Thai facebook group someone was talking about using a contact to find birthparents, so maybe that person would be able to do the same for the signature.

Jay and Chandra and Penny Regan said...

I have a couple of similar heartbreaking stories that have hit me hard. One made Penny bawl out loud, because she was expecting a girl she cared for to be adopted and it did not work out. Yes, how I wish we could all do more. But, I'm thankful for the one he has entrusted us with. These are hard times. I hope that your family is doing okay. Perhaps we'll be able to get to the Midwest this summer. We'll definitely look you up.

Kam said...

Megan, so sorry to hear this. We will pray. So, so sorry. I love you and your sweet heart. May God speak peace to you and to Jet.

Ellie said...

Oh, Megan. What a difficult thing this is. I cannot understand why Thailand works the way it does on some of these issues. They are VERY protective of their orphans (for which I am very thankful), but I agree with you... living in an orphanage with no sign of family in site should be enough to deem one adoptable. Praying for you, for Jet, and for his little friend...

Holly said...

that is so sad the boy and your friends have been put through this. after all these months 1 signature from 8 years ago messes everything up and what this boy will have to forever live in an orphanage evene though he is wanted in a home! it makes me so angry

Annie said...

Oh Megan, this breaks my heart. That precious child's days passing as he waits without a family. I will pray for this little best friend. God can move mountains.