Sunday, June 21, 2009


I have spent the day thinking about fathers. Many different kinds of fathers. Naturally, the fathers who have children they are raising or have raised come to mind. I thought about the fathers who have created life only to experience a miscarriage or death prior to birth. From our own experiences I also consider the fathers who are struggling through infertility. Each month is like a silent miscarriage. It has always been very special for me when others include women who have suffered miscarriages and/or infertility when describing a mother. The same goes with a father for me.

This year I spent more time thinking about my childrens birth fathers. In most conversations birth mothers are more often referred to. In the face of raising 2 sons now, the birth father comes to mind more. My sons will have their father, grandfathers and uncles as examples. I watched Jet today in church sitting next to his uncle, imitating his every move, the exact fold of his hands, his stance. So impressionable. One day an explanation of the role their birth father played will be needed. How will that impact my boys?

Our children come with very little information about their birth parents. Particularly the birth father. I wonder if the birth father even knows he/she exists. Would he want to know? Would he have played a part in raising his child? Is he a father? What kind of an example would he be? Would our children be better off being raised as some say with family of the same race?

My faith tells me when we die we will see everything from our past. Will they be surprised to know they have a son or daughter? How will they feel? I think of so many emotions that could be involved. Regret, anger, guilt, leaves me speechless and heartbroken.

Our children are beautiful beings, inside and out. (I DO realize I am prejuidice!) It is unthinkable to me that their birth parents and extended family don't have an opportunity to know them. Yet it is because of that situation we are allowed the privilege of being their parents. Without which there would be no Father's Day for Papa.

In the end I can only offer it all up to my heavenly Father. I pray for all fathers everywhere and thank God He has made my hubby a father.

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him Father! ---Lydia M. Child

Blessed indeed!

Happy Father's Day, Papa!! I am so thankful you are the father of our children. We ALL love you.


Kam said...

Megan, you have such a way with words. This was beautifully said. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. And thanks so much for all of your encouragement. I feel kinda out of body. I'm usually very happy, optimistic, and "light"...but these are hard days for me. I was so close to calling you this weekend. You had left your number in an email and I almost picked up the phone. I knew you'd know what we are going through. But of course I didn't. I'm just so sad that our boy is likely going to turn "3" without us. We were sure we'd have him by then (9.4) but looks like we won't. Anyway, thanks so much! You're the best.

Tina said...


I am so happy to hear your son came from Pakred Home....I loved my volunteer time there.

When my oldest daughter and I started voluteering they assign you a child. Each time you come (we went 3x's a week)you go straight to that childs room and the girls that work there get to know you and hand you your baby for the day....both my daughters little girl Samon and mine Annaya were both adopted. Samon had many health issues but still found a family.

Hope things are going better for you.....I truly miss Thailand and look forward to one day returning.

Glad you came over to my blog and from time to time I do write about some of the funny things that happened while we lived there.

Jen and Jeff said...

Beautiful post, Megan. Hope "Pappa" had a great father's day!