Thursday, June 11, 2009

Attachment Part 3

Thank you to everyone for accepting my feelings. I appreciate all your kind words.

I best jump to the present though! We have come a LONG way. The day before we were scheduled to leave Thailand as we sat in the US Embassy, Jet leaned his elbow on my leg!! I couldn't believe it!! It felt wonderful. He leaned on me completely for the plane ride in order to look out the window. It has just continued from there!

Jet now snuggles on my lap, holds my hand well, gives me hugs, looks to be picked up, lets me put lotion on and kiss him.

Upon arriving in the states, I did hope it would help Jet to see Peanut, Bug and I interacting. All the above things didn't just happen right away. He would still be stiff in my lap, but not try to get away. I did encourage contact with me. For example, I put lotion on the kids, starting with Peanut so he could see it, rubbing and massaging for awhile. I exaggerated the care of any ouchies he got so I could have contact with him. I still do those things, I figure he missed out on a lot of that "mothering" so I need to make up for it. I also want our kids to have that example of a Mom for their future.

Papa and I had gone back to the orphanage with Jet a second time and were able to see better interaction with staff. There was definitely a more playful, fun relationship with the guys and more serious, caretaking with the women. We both agree had our other children been with us, it might have helped Jet to see the interactions between us and feel more comfortable with a Mama.

Our only concern is we what have seen when we are out, Jet easily hugs whomever is talking to us. There are times our other kids have done it first, but at times they haven't and we really don't know the person that well. So we obviously have that as a concern, to ensure he is able to distinguish the difference. We have not been going out much and my family knows only we help with those primary needs like food and bathroom.

We are simply amazed at the progress that has been made in our family over the last few weeks. Jet is an incredibly resilient child who I believe was well prepared for this adjustment. In some ways it seems he has always been here with us. He works so hard at the language. It has been fun for all of us to watch the wonder of the things we take for granted. The kids and i took him through the car wash the other day. Peanut and Bug have been waiting forever to do that and he loved it! His wonder and amazement is very contagious!

God has proven once again....He knows what He is doing!!


excitedtobeafamily said...

Thank you so much for sharing! You have an amazing family! It must be a blast to see him experience everything.

Kelly said...

God knew exactly what He was doing when he put your family smack dab in the middle of this little boy's path in life. I'm glad it is all settling down, and know he will figure it all out. Kelly

Kam said...

So good to hear of his progress! You're such a great mama, Megan! Thanks again for being vulnerable and for sharing. Have a great weekend!

Chelsea Bergeron said...

thank you so much for being brave and sharing yout true experiences and feelings....I think your story is really going to help my husband and I get prepared fro or new addition :)

Ellie said...

Wonderful to hear of your progress!! You'll continue to be amazed as things progress!! I'm sure he's now picking up more and more of the English language! Isn't it great, to see him experience something new (i.e. car wash)?!? Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

BTDT, welcome to older child attachment. At the time we went thru it I thought I was mad. That triangulation (where the child will almost work to put a wedge between the favourite and non-favourite parents) sucks. It will be a long road and there will be setbacks, but you sound well prepared. I hope you were able to find the Mama noodles (see my comment re: your noodle post!)

Mama Misty said...

So glad to hear things are improving for your family! I'm sure as you continue to take things slow and at Jet's pace you will find things only getting better, and your bond only growing stronger. God is so good!

Ok and aside from that good stuff, the word verification is suckness. What the world??? But it was too funny to not share with you!!