1st Christmas

One would not normally assume an 8 1/2 year old would be experiencing Christmas, Santa, stockings, presents, cookies, Christmas lights and trees for the first time. But that is the case here. Naturally none of this was celebrated in Thailand at his orphanage.

This week we have had many many first experiences.

Presents arrived from my brother and his fam. Such torture having them sitting there to just look at!! We had found out a few months ago Jet had never received a present. He had a few upon arriving home but we tried to keep things simple. But going from NEVER to Christmas! Whoa!!

Can you even think about a child never being given a gift? None for his/her birthday, Christmas or just because they are loved. I am not naive, I have known it exists, but never so fresh in my mind. Never put right in front of me, as in my son. And his friends. All left behind, with slim chances of ever experiencing the love of a family.

Jet's stocking was delivered and hung making there 5! The next day he made a letter and picture, then put it in his stocking. One minute later he *found* his stocking had something inside! It was so cute!

Tuesday this week was one of the best days!! Papa was not working so we went to sit on Santa's lap! We went in the early afternoon and timing was perfect. We arrived while Santa was at lunch, expected to be back in 10 minutes. We were second in line!! Woo hoo! Jet loved every minute of it and had to be pried off Santa's lap. He did have one minute of nervousness while we were waiting but when I explained Mama would be there as well as Peanut and Bug, all was well.

Then at dinner time on Tuesday, I whipped up some chocolate chip pancakes and hot chocolate. The munchkins put their pjs on and we jumped in the car to munch, slurp and look at Christmas lights around town! It was a blast, as it is a favorite tradition of ours and Jet's excitement made it extra special. Thankfully we did it Tuesday night as we now can't leave the house, we have so much snow!!

I truly wish on Wednesday I had counted how many times Jet said "Mama, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Then we open presents"!! To say he was excited is an understatement!! Not that one could blame him. His FIRST ever Christmas!

It dawned on me at bedtime he thought we would be waking up and opening family presents right away. Like it had been explained to him we did on Christmas morning from Santa. Whew, he at least knew we had to wait till after dinner Christmas Eve.

Peanut and Bug generously volunteered to allow Jet open the first present, as we take turns. He was so excited!! We opened and played till almost 10pm.

So imagine my surprise when I was awoken at 3am to shrieks from Peanut's bedroom! Excitement abounded until Mama walked in. Jet did get in an excited, "it's Christmas morning" before I separated everyone to their own spot to go back to sleep.

Then we couldn't get Jet to wake up! Finally at 8:15am, Bug went in to wake him and his gasp was AWESOME!!

Christmas morning had FINALLY come!!

Merry CHRISTmas everyone!!!

Winner Take All

Competition is fierce in my house.

Seriously.Fierce.

And I mean fierce, seriously.

Let me give you an example--

The munchkins and Papa were downstairs playing a Wii bowling game. I was upstairs doing chores and could hear the fun being had downstairs. Soon I could hear many strikes were being made. All was well.

For a moment or two.

Then I hear it. Two munchkins voices going back and forth, getting louder and louder. With the third voice thrown in every once in awhile. (I wasn't sure which 2 until later. I will admit I assumed I knew who it was, but I was wrong!)

Up for "debate"--whose strike happened faster. Yes, you read it right!

WHOSE. BALL. AND. PINS. WENT. DOWN. FASTER.

My first reaction was REALLY. SERIOUSLY.

Then I laughed. Right out loud. I was SO deliriously happy Papa was witness to this scene! I strongly believe he is laughing inside at me or rolling his eyes when I talk about the competition that goes on. Day after day. And I only share when I am truly exasperated!

He had first hand experience! And one of the best! I wish you could have seen his face when I brought it up later after the kids were in bed. Dumbfounded!

I don't want my kids to grow up fast at all. But I can't wait to share this one with their kids!!

Blessings~

Present Plan Flop

Birthdays and Christmas are all smooshed together in our house. From the middle of Oct. to the middle of January, all 3 munchkins have a birthday and Christmas. The rest of the year is empty.

We started talking birthdays back in Sept. with Bug's being the first to celebrate. Through different conversations and events, it became apparent to us that Jet assumed you received anything/everything you asked for.

In the past Peanut and Bug have marked up the magazines, made lists, etc... I remember doing the same with the JcPenney's catalog! But they know it doesn't mean they will receive all those items. We encouraged them to not focus too much on that this year, to lessen some confusion.

One day before Bug's birthday, I had an idea to write out a long want list. I listed everything Bug wanted or had even mentioned! My mind set was then Jet would see we don't get everything we want.

Bug received 4 or 5 items from his list. I made sure to point it out.

Not too long after, Jet seemed focused on telling me he wasn't going to make a big list. "Not many things, little bit"--he says.

It took a few days to hit me......

4 or 5 things were on his list.

This munchkin will definitely keep us on our toes!! :))

Oh, and those few things...

a drum set, violin, nintendo DS, star wars legos, remote control helicopter or R2D2

LOL

Family Forever Mine

Jet recently climbed on to my lap and whispered in my ear--

"I know why Mama and Daddy brought me to America. To help Bug pick up his bedroom."

I about died laughing!! Jet was mostly kidding.

Naturally I did reassure him we brought him here to be our son. It was God's plan and we loved him, plain and simple.

We have had to reinforce to Jet our love is unconditional. As expected for a child raised in an orphanage for the first 8 years of his life, grasping the concept of family has been an ongoing one. In a way similar to a toddler, we need to list all the members or our family including his name. We can't just assume he knows he is included or say "you".

Shortly after returning from Thailand, we had the "issue" of going back to Thailand arise. After much discussion, we realized Jet didn't understand we were referring to taking a vacation there and he assumed it was him going back. We addressed the fact he was our son and would always return to America with us. (Unless he chose differently when he was old enough.) No matter where we went.

It is so matter of fact for us, no question, not on our minds..... Not so for him.

We have been home 7 months and 2 days.

At dinner tonight with tears in his eyes, Jet asked me--

"Do you know if I will have to go back to Thailand?" What?

After many tears and much talk back and forth it came out. He still questions the permanency of his new family. I know it has only been 7 months. Versus 8 years. I still wonder how long his sweet mind has to be tortured with these thoughts. The last few nights he has had bad dreams. I am guessing we have the cause of them. Will he ever be assured of his place in our family?

Much reassurance was made to Jet by myself, Peanut and Bug. (Papa was working at the time) It is so encouraging to see our other 2 kiddos react to such agony on their brother's part. The squabbles and struggles of every day life melt away, leaving a brother and sister grieving for their brother. They want to make him feel loved, special, part of our family in every way possible. Their compassion and tenderness astound me. Just some of the many wonderful things adoption has given us all.

After we had talked a few minutes, my sweet Bug lovingly rubbed Jet's cheek with his hand. And said "you have to stay here.....who else would help me clean my bedroom?!!"

A shot of humor at just the right time.

We continue to plug along grafting a new member into our family unit. Life can get busy, Jet seems to have so much English learned, it is easy to slip into a comfortable place, forgetting there is still so much to work through. We need to take the time to make the reassurances a regular part of our daily/weekly routine so we don't fall into an assumed, take for granted mode and leave the older adopted child behind.

Still living, loving and learning....

Oh....I got it......

Wow has it been awhile! All I can say right now is I am back! And I have alot to say.

Tonight I will start with an update.

We have hit 6 months!! Who would think! Time goes sssooo s l o w will waiting for your child to come home and then it simply flies by in a flash. Why is that?! We had our last home visit and will hopefully be getting into court soon!

I can't wait to share his picture!

Jet is doing good! His vocabulary continues to grow. A short 6 months in and we are working on fine tuning his pronunciation. He has an incredible grasp of the English language and the meaning of words. Quite evident by the fact he is able to translate so many things from English to Thai!

Oh...I got it... Jet's favorite phrase....usually includes a pointer finger in the air, followed by his answer/thought/comment. We must hear it at least 20 times a day!

Jet is working to find his fit with his brother and sister, not by angry glares anymore. His "edge" or wall of protection is for the most part non-existent. We have entered a new phase of grieving, thankfully. As odd as that may sound, I strongly believe it would not be a good situation if we didn't experience grieving. Jet has mourned the loss of his friends. Difficult as that may be, he did make it a habit of bringing it up when one of his siblings was not doing what he wanted or they were disagreeing. I by no means am saying Jet did not miss his friends. His feelings were real. He just also happens to be a smart kid!! ;))

Another sign of his grieving/stress is the thumb sucking is back. He has also reverted to another "behavior/tic" we had noticed right after meeting him in Thailand. It is not as frequent as it was then, but it definitely indicates some sort of unrest in his sweet soul.

The kid has got to be so confused about our weather!! We had the snow in early Oct. and now we have had above normal temps, not even requiring winter coats!! Truth be told, the munchkin is pretty much always cold though!!

Peanut and Jet continue with their love/hate relationship. Two type A personalities either clashing or joining their abundant energy to overwhelm us type B people! The honeymoon has definitely ended for Peanut yet she still mentions a prayer of thanksgiving for Jet finally coming home. Reigning in her motherly/big sister self is my biggest challenge with her.

Bug has become more assertive and open in his relationship with his brother. Bug and Jet have finally bonded over L*ego and St*r Wa*s. Bug still requires his Sissy time. Jet struggles with the fact his younger brother is bigger than him. Competition and comparison are 2 big struggles for Jet. Also 2 expected struggles for siblings and for a child raised in an orphanage for 8 years, I believe.

I will leave my personal update for another day. Suffice it to say, I have called on a blogging buddy who had offered to talk if I ever needed it. I am admitting I need it, probably did awhile ago. More on that soon. I did say I wanted to share it all and I am convicted of that feeling again. So I will.

I missed blogging. I look forward to sharing.

Stories to tell

Back at the end of August, beginning of September Jet told me a story about his life in Thailand. At this time, I am unable to remember the first story he told me. However the second one came while we were driving to IL. Papa really didn't believe me when I had told him Jet was relaying something from his time in Thailand. He almost drove off the road when Jet started to tell us a story!!

Bug was telling us about something that scared him. We were talking about it and how God fits into it all. Jet spoke up and said when in Thailand he told his "Moms" about monsters scaring him. He then touched one of the bracelets he came home wearing saying the "Daddies" put it on him because it would keep him safe. I knew what he was telling us, what I was understanding, between his broken English and hand gestures fit with what we knew to be true. When in Thailand I had asked Miss Oh if she knew of the significance of his bracelets/strings. The one he was indicating was only available at a Wat, the monks would be the "Daddies". He went on and on about how they reassured him about the bracelet protecting him along with the particular Buddha they made an offering to.

First, we were amazed at how Jet was able to understand "scared" and relate it to feelings he had in Thailand. Also amazing was his ability to use English words in place of Thai words. Creating a relationship to our God protecting us and Buddha protecting was not what one would expect from an 8 year old who had been speaking our language and heard about God for 4 months either!!

Almost 2 months later the stories continue and have become much more clear as his grasp of the English language grows by leaps and bounds. Even when one wouldn't think that could happen!

We have learned some absolutely wonderful things about his past. It is so great to be able to share in his first 8 years in such a way! He has been able to give us a huge understanding of the Buddha worshiping he was familiar with, different outings he went on, school experiences..... Some of the stories are more difficult to process (accept, not understand), some we are hoping are still a little lost in translation, all best left for our son to keep close to himself and us as his parents.

Last night as we sat down as a family (of 5!!) to watch N*mo, Jet explained to us he had seen it in Thailand with 3D glasses in the movie theater!! With all his friends!! What a hoot!!

Today Bug told me Jet had alot of America in Thailand! Is that a good thing? I am not sure, however it does makes the transition easier for our older adopted children.

We have even moved into a new phase. Jet is now teaching us Thai! Is that not just crazy!! I love it! Tomorrow morning he will be teaching school in the beginning of our day....Peanut, Bug and I will be learning to count to 100 in Thai!! I better go get some sleep~

Sweet dreams!

Winter in October?

On Sept. 7th we were swimming, boating and hot in IL with our friends.

On Oct. 10th those same friends were in SD for a surprise visit. They were able to see Jet experience his first snow!!

Who would think??!!

Jet has been very anxious for quite some time about when he would get to see snow. We have let him know many times he really didn't want the snow to come yet! I mean really, he can't hold an orange just out of the fridge long enough to peel it or an ice cube tray to get more than one ice cube out!! LOL Snow = COLD

No more than 2 days prior to Saturday Oct.10th, I had talked with Jet, again, emphasizing we wouldn't see snow for about 2 more months. We would have fall, albeit a colder than normal one.

Please don't tell anyone I am to blame for the snow!

I got to make Jet's night twice that night. First, telling him he could finally wear the footed sleeper for bed. He had been waiting for this since we had tried it on in fall!! And second, having him look out the window!! It was a good thing it was a footed sleeper!!



He flew out the door and danced around on the deck with his brother and sister. They tasted snow together and made small snowballs.

He was SO excited!!

There was one small moment of indecision of whether to be excited when he realized the snow might mean he couldn't try his new skateboard he had just received.

No problem......


.....he didn't even stop to take off his knee and elbow pads!! Or helmet!! LOL

A snowman was even built! It was a little wobbly. You know, nobody was willing to make their snowball smaller so each one was the exact.same.size. Oh the competition!!!!


Our house was filled to the brim....4 munchkins, 3 adults, 2 dogs, loud laughter, fun, and lots of love!!

It was simply put...priceless. We are so blessed.

Jet's Best Friend needs prayers

In April 2008 we received a new video of Jet from when our agency had traveled there in March. We, naturally, could hardly wait to watch it. Imagine our surprise when it started and we were able to see our son playing with another little boy! We had full view of the boy our son was playing ball with. (Unheard of in the pc, privacy controlled US)

It was such a treat to see him interacting with another child and the giggling laughter from these two was pure joy!!

Then we found out it was his best friend who was also coming to America!!

At that time, we were told the boys were kept together at the babies home rather than having to move to the boys home. One less move for them since they had families that would be coming to get them! We were thrilled. We also learned the boys had been told they had families in America. It was explained to us this was not the norm, individuals within the orphanage were very excited for the boys and told them. Ordinarily, it seems the children are given much less "notice".

Jet knew for 14 months he had a family in America. His best friend is still waiting.....20 months after he heard the great news.

Yes, I said 20 months.

And his family in America has been in process to bring him home for well over 2 years now.

Mark and Shawna recently received some news that rocked their world and is leaving this adoption completely up in the air. There is a possibility their son is not considered "adoptable". They along with their 2 beautiful daughters, age 9 and 11, and 3 grown children, are grappling with this news. Trying desperately to understand the reasons behind all this wait and uncertainty.

God's hand has been on this adoption all along. They first spotted this young boy in Thailand 3 years ago. Yet they felt led down a different path towards their next child. After the door closed on that path, a new photo album was delivered and that young boy was still waiting....It was a full year later. Another door had been opened. They knew he was the one.

We have met this little boy. He turned 8 this past summer. He is a delightful, smiley, energetic, finger-snapping little boy! He loves to ride bikes and his favorite color is pink. Those are 2 tidbits I learned from Jet.

He is my son's best friend. Jet is well aware he has a family here in America. In fact today, out of the blue, Jet said, "I can't wait till my friend comes to America". I didn't need to ask who he was talking about but I asked anyway. I was right. My heart ached at that moment.

I call him their son, as he will always be their son. No matter what.

Please, please pray for Mark and Shawna, Marina and Alexis, for peace and strength in this wait. Pray for those in Thailand acting on behalf of this little boy, that God may slip the necessary documents/evidence in place. Pray for this little boy, for an understanding in his heart. That he may know HIS FAMILY WANTS HIM VERY MUCH.

Thank you for taking this family into your hearts, thoughts and prayers. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. I wish they lived close by, so I could hug Shawna on a daily basis. I know I would need it by now. Actually, I would have needed it a long time ago. Also I did have permission to use their names in my blog.

May God bless you all~

Precious Life

The sign reading "Adoption- The Loving Choice" is so poignant in the hands of my children.

Today we took part in an activity in support of respecting life. In doing so I am brought face to face with the reminder that my children grew in another Mama's tummy. And I am a Mama because they are, too. They chose what they thought would be the best choice for their child. They will always be a mother regardless of whether they went on to have other children or not.

I can't stand there with my 3 Asian children and not think about the fact they would not be here, in this world, if their birth mothers had not chosen life. In countries, in life situations where it would have been so much easier to make a different choice. I am brought to my knees as I pray for all life to be allowed to live as I realize my life would not be what it is. I can't help but pray for God to bless these women in unimaginable ways for the HUGE blessings I have been given. I pray they might know God and be comforted with their choice.

For us, it is an obvious answer to our children when they question the facts of their adoption, when they wonder why she didn't "want" him/her. Society dictated certain things where our children were born. (Like extreme poverty for an unwed mother and child, no likelihood of a marriage for the mother or son, etc...) But....

She made the choice to give life to the baby growing inside her.

She wanted her child to simply be. They were chosen, first by her and secondly by us.

And there will never be enough thank yous or words to express to our child's birthmother(s). Though their ages may not be far from mine, I feel an almost motherly instinct towards them. I want to know how they are doing, where they are in their life now, to take care of them, let them know how their precious gifts are doing. And at times, thinking about the fact I will more than likely never get to do that this side of heaven is just too much.

So till then....... thank you and may God bless you~ you are loved and cherished by God and by us.

Home 5 months

I can't even believe we have been home that long!

There are times Jet feels like he has been a part of our family forever. Then there are moments when it all feels brand new.

Jet's language skills continue to improve. He works so hard at pronouncing words. It is fascinating to me, having done infant and older child adoptions from different Asian countries,
the sounds present in our English language that the Asian mouth has difficulty making. My infant adoptions were at 4.5 and 5 months. It seems to me it would be in the development of their mouths in the womb, hereditary, which makes it difficult to produce those sounds. Jet watches my mouth so carefully, diligently trying over and over again to produce a sound like mine. His grasp of the English language is awe-inspiring, even grasping emotions, being able to relate it to Thailand and how he experienced the same emotion there.

I have noticed the last week or two, however, Jet relies on his brother and sister to give answers. He jumps in on the last few words making it seem as if he had the same answer! In a way it has given a false sense of his understanding. I am working to ensure his true understanding by questioning him directly, alternating between them all.

Jet eats well, has gained 3 or 4 lbs (much needed) and still sleeps well. One thing I have noticed is there is only 2 times in the past 5 months where Jet has told me he is hungry. I am not sure it is a feeling he is use to, or having someone willing/able to do anything about it.

We continue to work on knowing when we have to use the bathroom. Shortly after IL, he was talking about his stomach hurting and I suggested he go in and sit. He did and afterward relayed the whole story back to me--my stomach hurt, Mama said go sit on potty, I did and my stomach doesn't hurt anymore! Huge smiles and excitement!! I was able to explain when he had that feeling he needed to go. In the last week or so he has known 2x on his own it was time to go!! Progress!

I think this last month or so has been hardest on myself. I feel like parenting is a whole new ball game and I am not playing the game very well. Peanut and Bug were incredibly close siblings, very rarely arguing. In retrospect, I truly had no idea what sibling rivalry was. The "I want to do it, it's my turn, he is always first, etc....", along with the tattletale-ing has been new for me to adjust to and for us to figure out how to parent.

I have also had a difficult time feeling comfortable explaining myself to anyone. We wanted to have kids, a "big" family. We struggle to have these children and to be parents, how dare we feel anything other than excitement, happiness in our new situation. It feels contradictory to the waiting phase where all we could think about was getting our child home. It is a blessing, we are thrilled yet like any parent growing their family, we have struggles.

We ARE so blessed to be a family of five!