Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Guilt and Waiting

I must admit I have been wanting to post quite a few different things for the last week or so but besides being busy getting ready to travel :)) I have also been dealing with much guilt since there are SO many families that are waiting. Some longer than us, in different stages, for different reasons, but I still find it difficult to share my news/excitement. So I have just not been posting or emailing.

But I enjoy posting and emailing. I want to share this process with many people.

The waiting is hard. No, I mean really hard. HARD.

I do get the "worth it in the end" statements. I realize it is often said because who knows what else to say. "Hang in there", "it will happen", "you're so close"......all very kind sentiments, meant in the nicest way from very nice people. But I don't offer them any more when I commiserate with a fellow adoptive parent. It is awkward at the end of an email, so I know WHY people use those "lines". I just chose not to as I know what it feels like to be on the other side. I am not bothered by people who do, I truly know they mean well. I want it to be different from me, an acknowledgment that I understand, I understand.

I am not one of those parents who forgets the wait. Granted the wait for my daughter* 8 years ago isn't what it was at that time, but I don't feel it "went away". It is part of her story. It is part of my labor. It is a part of what I had to go through for the privilege of being her mother.

So I will tell all my fellow waiters.....I DO understand. I will do one thing for you without fail, I will PRAY for you, your family and your child who is waiting JUST FOR YOU. I will wait with you, cry with you, be angry with you and rejoice with you.

Just tell me where you are in the process and I'll meet you there.

*The same goes for my sons!


Ellie said...

Don't feel guilty!! You probably know that whenever somebody gets their travel news, all those of us waiting feel so much excitement for them, and at the same time, a twinge of envy. That's not your fault. It's just how it goes with adoption. Waiting IS hard, but we don't have a choice! It's especially difficult when you've been holding your child's photo for nearly a year.

We are thrilled that your child will soon be home with mommy, daddy, sister, and brother! We want you to post! We want to share in your excitement! We want to see your journey, and how you are blessed by the newest addition to your family. We want to be able to pray for you, as you face new challenges of adjustment and travel! Keep us posted!!

Thank you for praying for us, and know that I am praying for YOU! :)

Kam said...

Megan, you're precious! Thank you for this post! I am so excited for you. We've been waiting for Joel for only around 9 months...started the process in May and saw his picture in I no reason to be down yet. I do have hard days...just waiting is so hard. But I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded....He's got this thing! He's not struggling with this! And so we will trust Him as we wait.

Don't feel guilty! I am thrilled that you are going and can't wait to "watch"!!!

Much love~

Kelly said...

Don't feel guilty - Celebrate. I haven't even started the process but am dying to do it, and I cheer every time someone has their gotcha day. When our 2nd daughter was in the ICU after heart surgery at 10 days old, we too quietly celebrated because we didn't want the other families to be upset. The other families weren't going to leave that week, or even worse, might leave without their little one. At one point our daughter was weaned off of yet another machine, and the lady watching her child next to us came over and sang a happy song to our child. She clapped Tarin's hands, and loved her up as any mom would, and then thanked me because she needed to celebrate something so she celebrated Tarin. You are going to get your child, and those of us that don't get to go any time soon are going to celebrate your family, and cheer from our computer chairs. Say it LOUD and PROUD - "I"M GETTING MY SON!" Kelly in SC
PS - That box will be in the mail to you tomorrow.